I had been painting lately on my days off from work, it was a really nice little hobby. I didn’t want a hobby though, I just wanted my life back.
Everyone was becoming friends, it would be sad if anyone actually finished their treatment and got discharged. My sister would usually make a giant plate of something for anyone who wanted it, but not actually eat it herself. I wanted to tell her that if she didn’t start at least trying to eat even just a bite or two, she would never get out of here. I didn’t know how to approach it, though, I didn’t want to make her upset at me and I also didn’t want to make things worse for her. I couldn’t imagine what Michelle must be going through, being here, I knew she needed my full support.
We were supposed to clean up after ourselves, but we would all get into arguments over who should do it and then it would end up just not getting done at all. The bathroom usually looked like this, on a daily basis, sometimes I would just suck it up and clean it because I couldn’t deal with the filth anymore. I wished I could just get out of here, so I could live a normal life and just have to clean up after myself.
I was working very hard at trying to complete my goals here so I could get out, but I still had a long way to go, unfortunately. I liked my job and started to look forward to it every day, the work itself was difficult. If it meant getting out of this place, even for a short while, it meant it was worth it. It wasn’t a bad job at all, but it was a lot of work.
One day, after I got home from a long day of work I saw this very strange looking red woman standing in the foyer looking very lost.
“Hey, do you need some help with something?” I asked her, wondering if she was a new patient since she was dressed in our uniforms.
“Oh, uh, no, I just don’t really know what I’m doing here. I wish they would just bring me back home.” She replied, her voice unexpectedly very high pitched and garbled, like she was swishing marbles around her mouth as she talked.
“Yeah, we all felt like that when we first came here, it’ll be ok though. Things will get better once you’re able to settle in a lilittle, I know it’s no place like home but it’s what has to be right now. I’m Lumi, by the way, did you just arrive today?”
“Thank you, Lumi, I’m Cassandra. It’s cool that the people here are so nice, I just got here a couple of hours ago.” We had easy conversation for a while, even though it was a little hard to understand her garbled speech. She was very nice, even though she was very ugly, like me. It turned out we had a lot more in common then just our ugly faces and I really enjoyed every second of our conversation.
We had really started to connect, Cassandra and I and I was so thankful that she had been sent here. She was a gifted piano player and would play as I listened for a while every night. We would talk as she played sometimes, about anything and everything. I had never been able to talk to someone like this before, I felt confident that I could tell her anything and she would keep it to herself. We were becoming quite good friends, I wasn’t sure what I would do if either of us got discharged before the other.
One night after I got home from work I decided to get my courage up and kiss Cassandra. I had never kissed a girl before, but I had also never felt this way about a girl before. I found her in her room and before either of us could say anything I wrapped her in my arms and leaned in the kiss her. I ended up hitting my large nose against her eye and the whole thing didn’t work out how I had planned at all. She laughed at me and told me it was okay and to try again. With the confidence she had just given me I decided to give it another shot and this time kissed her right on the lips.
My body seemed to know what to do from there and pretty soon we were on her small patient bed, naked. We had stripped each other of our clothes and were touching and kissing and loving each other. I didn’t really know what I was doing in my brain, but my body just took over and before I could even think about what I was doing I was humping her. I gripped her tiny hips tightly as I rocked back and forth, back and forth, with the rhythm of her thrusting hips to guide me. She moaned quietly at me as I continued to thrust deep into her, going faster and deeper with every passing second. Finally my body let itself go with her and I came deep in her shivering body.
I’m sure you could imagine what happened next, without me putting this picture in. I had gotten Cassandra pregnant, I hadn’t even thought that what I was doing could result in this. Cassandra had an eating disorder and the doctor told her that if she decided to keep the baby it could not only kill her but it could also kill the baby. She wasn’t healthy enough to carry this baby and I felt like a dirty bastard for doing this to her.
She was an amazing women, however, and when she was asked which patient had done this to her she replied that it was her business. Even with heavy questioning she didn’t give me up, knowing that I would be punished for doing something to her that could kill her. If I had known her condition was this serious I never would have done this, I wanted to die for her I wanted to take all of this upon myself and save her.
Obviously I couldn’t save her and it was ultimately her choice as to what she wanted to do. Her stomach grew every day and it was a hard thing to watch. She had started eating food, to try and support the baby, but I could tell it was extremely difficult for each bite she ate. She had chosen to carry the baby and try and deliver it. I wasn’t sure what the right choice was in this case, I knew it wasn’t right to abort your baby and just let it die because you couldn’t support it or whatever. I wasn’t sure, however, if it would have been okay to abort this one because it could kill Cassandra.
She seemed to know what she was doing and had made up her mind about the whole thing. It was making me extremely sad and angry and I just wanted her to be alright.
As Cassandra’s belly grew, my heart grew heavier. I couldn’t live with myself for doing this to her, I hated that there was nothing I could do to help or take it back.
Cassandra went in to labor at the asylum, but they didn’t let her have the baby there. They rushed her to the nearest hospital, not telling anyone in the asylum what was going to happen to her or if she was going to be alright. I kept trying to ask workers there if they knew anything about Cassandra or if she was okay, but no one could give me any information on her.
I wept to myself to whole day, knowing that I had doomed the only woman I had ever loved and that if she died it was entirely my fault.
DisneyDreams 