River answered me and even though I didn’t believe he was real I rushed into his arms and kissed him until both of us were gasping for breath.
“You’re here?” I breathed out, not letting him out of my arms.
“Yes, I didn’t know you still loved me.” He said, studying my face.
“I don’t think I will ever be able to stop loving you, River.”
“Do you know what I’ve done, Nala?” He asked, his gaze lowering. He suddenly pulled back from me and started pacing the floor. “I don’t even know how to tell you, that’s why I couldn’t bear to see you again. I love you, I have never loved someone like you. After what I’ve done becomes known you will never want to even think of my name again, let alone be with me.” He ran a hand through his beautiful white blonde hair as he seemed to be stuck with wanting to tell me but not being able.
“River, if this is about my mother-” He cut me off, quickly coming close to me and talking over me.
“Do you already know? Has someone told you, do you really know the real truth?” He rapidly fired questions at me, but I was already prepared for them
“You killed my mother, but I don’t want to talk about it or even think about it. I love you, I’ve been waiting for you for so long and I forgive you.” River’s jaw gaped open, I had truly left him speechless. “You don’t know how hard it was for me, after I found out I was pregnant I knew it was yours. I was so young, I had to leave my family and come here, otherwise they would hate me forever. I’ve been able to forgive you because I love you, but I don’t think they ever will.”
“Nala, I never meant to hurt her. I didn’t even mean any of it, I’m so sorry. She smelled so delicious and once I started I just couldn’t stop myself. I do not expect your forgiveness and that’s not why I came here. I don’t know how you could ever forgive a monster like me.”
I inched closer to River and whispered into his ear, “Because I love you and I know how hard it is for you in the world.”
River and I talked a bit more, but it seemed like we settled things. I told him I wanted him to stay with Willow and I, that it was only right for her to know her father and have us be a family. River agreed to stay, but I was a little nervous. I trusted him completely, but I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t just take off one day.
“Oh Willow, your daddy is finally here. Better late then never, huh? I want us to be a happy family now, I thought I would only ever dream of this.” I gazed into my tiny infants eyes as she gurgled happily up at me, she was such a good listener.
I decided it would be best to try to put my worry aside and just enjoy my love. It felt so wonderful to be tucked into the arms of the man I love every night, I could get used to this. Maybe things would be okay, maybe we would have a wonderful happy family and carry on the legacy together.
Willow got more then enough attention from both River and I. We both loved to be with her and sometimes we would find ourselves having to be reminded to put her down so she could sleep and have some peace and quiet.
River and I had a lot of time to catch up on and we were often making good use of my bed. (We used protection, of course!)
The cats were both extremely happy here and I was so happy that I had been able to give two animals a wonderful home they enjoyed being in.
All too soon it was already Willow’s first birthday, River had officially been with us for almost an entire year! I was really starting to settle down and become used to having him around, I was extremely happy.
The morning after Willow’s first birthday I found myself running through the house.
I ended up with my head hanging over the toilet. I figured River would poke his head in the door any second to see if I was okay, but he never showed.
I went around the entire house looking for him and calling his name, but didn’t see him anywhere. My heart jumped to my throat, maybe while I was sleeping someone came in to kidnap Willow and killed River. I ran to the nursery and found little Willow crying for me in her crib.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay mommys here.” I tried to sooth her as I sat her on my hip. “Where’s daddy, Willow?” I asked her, sometimes she could understand me but sometimes she couldn’t. She just looked up at me with her brown eyes, not making any attempt to show me where River might be.
The days that followed River’s disappearance were extremely difficult for me. I had lived with this man for over a year and now he was suddenly just gone without even a goodbye. I would think I see him doing certain things around the house, like filling the cat’s food bowl.
But when I looked again, he would be gone and the bowl was empty.
When I went to start painting, River was there sculpting a bush.
Then I would close my eyes and look again and he would be gone, his unfinished sculpture just standing there waiting for someone to finish it.
I would walk into the kitchen and he would be cleaning up for me.
But if I looked again, it was just my imagination yearning for him.
It was like someone was playing a sick joke on me, I just wanted River. I really hoped he was okay, wherever he was. It wasn’t like this was unlike him, I was scared this would happen from the start. As I got to know him better and lived with him for so long, it just seemed so odd that he would just up and leave one night without one trace of him left behind.
I had still been vomiting a lot, but I didn’t have much time to read into it. I was worried about bigger things then my stupid upset stomach.
Every morning Willow’s smiling face would great me from her crib, she definitely made this whole thing a bit easier. If it wasn’t for her I would probably just be curled up in my bed, dying alone until River came back.
But I knew I had a little one to care for, someone who was completely dependent on me and I would not be letting her down any time soon.
As I was sleeping I would always feel River’s presence lying next to me. It almost felt like he was just lying there to watch over me and protect me while I slept.
I never wanted to do a double take, because when I did he would disappear.
It was rough going for me, I felt like my life had been put on hold and half of my body was missing. I knew I would never be right again until River returned.
I tried to continue with life as best I could, I had been doing a lot of painting lately to try and distract myself. The paintings were selling so well I was able to build a room for Willow once she was big enough for it and a room for her own private bathroom.
I didn’t have enough money for any furniture yet, but it was coming along.
My day consisted of caring for Willow, cleaning up the house, taking care of myself, playing with the cats and then doing some painting until Willow needed me again.
Since I had paid no mind to all the vomiting I had been doing, I was no where ready to see this coming.
I was pregnant and alone, again!
DisneyDreams 